YOU WERE CHOSEN

May 13, 2013 5 Comments

chosen

Colossians 2:12
And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

Did you know you were chosen?

Did you know God picked you out specifically to be your child’s parent?

Did you know God chose you to receive Eternal Life, Everlasting Life?

Did you know God sacrificed his own son for you to live forever?

Did you know you are loved by God and cared for?

Chosen as defined in the Webster’s Dictionary says that it is one who is the object of choice or of divine favor. Wow, that makes me feel so special. He chose me to be Charlie’s mom.

God favors you and loves you. He does this all the time. He loves you unconditionally.

I know this concept was really hard to grasp so many years ago. We all have choices and make them daily. I know in the past as a kid I connected doing good=love, doing bad=no love. But God loves us all the time, no matter what. Of course, he wants us to make good choices, but loves us also in spite of bad choices we may make. Ephesians 2:8,9 says “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves it is a free gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast”. God wants us to come to Him always like Romans 10:13 says, “Whoever will call upon the name of the Lord will be saved”. What reassurance and peace I have in knowing that. If you want to have this reassurance please go to our prayer wall so we can pray with you.
God makes everything in love and perfection. My Charlie is perfect. Perfect for me. I am honored that God chose me specifically to be his mom. What a blessing!

~Patty Myers

Filed Under: ADHD, Asperger, Autism, Behaviors, Cerebral Palsey, Down Syndrome, Grief, Hidden Disabilities, Joy, Learning Disability, Living In The Moment, Living Life Daily, Love, Medically Fragile, Mental Illness, Mood Disorders, Patience, Patty Myers, Peace, Scripture, Terminal Diagnosis, Thanksgiving, Transitions, Uncategorized Tagged With:

Those Who Have Come Before You

April 8, 2013 6 Comments

phil-4-62
We are all on a journey.
A journey with our child who has a disability.
I know when we first received Charlie’s autism diagnosis we scrambled to learn what this autism thing really was. We searched ways of how to help him. We searched how others were coping.
I think books are great, articles are awesome, and conferences are amazing but I think the greatest thing I have found is finding others that have come before you to talk with and ask questions. Questions like, “what did you do when…” or “did your child do this, what did you do?” or maybe even “did you feel __ when this happened?” Finding another parent, grandparent, sibling can be amazing to reach out to. They get it. They understand how to listen.
So many times I have gotten valuable information behaviorally, socially, medically, academically, and even emotionally from other moms and dads. When someone has been there and walked through it, they can really testify to how they felt and to encourage you that it will be ok.
I remember when I was potty training Charlie… one of the hardest things I have done in my life. He was 5 ½ and still had no concept of the connection. Sitting in urine and feces was no big deal to him, he wouldn’t even walk funny. I decided I would do an interval schedule with him using a timer. We went to the bathroom every 45 minutes, no matter what. He would tantrum (scream, kick, hit himself, spit) each and every time just to get him to sit on the toilet. He was petrified of the toilet flushing. We tried every reinforcer, but nothing seemed to be valuable at this point. He had accidents every hour. Resolve cleaner was my best friend. This went on for 2 weeks straight. We hardly went anywhere, but I remained strong. Well, until that Friday night. We hosted a Bible Study at our house and I was still in full throttle with the timer etc. It was about 8:30pm and I had done this during the day (every 45m taking him to the toilet). I had a meltdown myself and just started to cry with my head in my hands saying, “I can’t do this”. Gina, who also has a child with autism, came over to me and just hugged me and then she said the magic words, “It will be alright and you CAN do it!” Even though I was so overwhelmed I knew she had done this with her own son and I knew I could do it too. I got through the night and soon he was getting it.
Find someone who has a child at least a few years older that yours who you can ask questions to, that you can just vent every once in a while. Someone that can pray with you.  Often times I got such great information from others about different conferences or sensory ideas. A lot of times it was nice to talk to someone else that got it, when feeling overwhelmed and they just understood. I never really wanted a pity party, but I just wanted someone to listen and encourage me to get through that tough moment. That is what Gina did.
These days there is so much more awareness of autism then there was when Charlie was diagnosed. There is now Facebook and other social media sites that help parents to do this even virtually.  Also I find it greater when I reach out to others and seeing who needs me to listen to them, to be there for them, to serve them.
Reach out and find someone you can ask those questions to, you can get encouragement from, and you can watch and see what they have done. Not-Alone is a great site for this especially with our prayer wall. Let us encourage and pray for you today. The ultimate way to encourage you and to ask questions is through God’s Word: The Bible. Jesus Christ is always there to listen to all your needs. As I tell Charlie all the time, He is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to listen to our cries and to hear our joy!

I Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Blessings,
Patty Myers
http://www.facebook.com/autismblessing

Filed Under: ADHD, Asperger, Autism, Behaviors, Cerebral Palsey, Down Syndrome, Hidden Disabilities, Joy, Learning Disability, Living In The Moment, Living Life Daily, Love, Medically Fragile, Mental Illness, Mood Disorders, Patience, Patty Myers, Peace, Scripture, Thanksgiving, Transitions, Uncategorized

Letting Go

March 11, 2013 6 Comments

Chelsea easter

Chelsea and Charlie in 2005

Philipians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Chelsea came in the room, “Mom look I got another college theatre scholarship!”

I was so excited for her and very proud. She is 6 years older than her brother Charlie who has autism. She was about 9 when we got the diagnosis. She didn’t really understand at the time. Even when he wasn’t talking and having tantrums a lot she would just say, “he is fine”. As the years have gone on and he has made progress she does see the uniqueness about her brother.

Chelsea turned 17 this summer and it is almost at the end of her senior year. She is in the middle of working on college applications, theatre/music auditions, and busy with her different plays she is in. Charlie who is 11 now has watched her passion for theatre since she was in late Elementary School. From the time she was in The Music Man in 6th grade to her performance as Emma in Jekyll & Hyde at Morsani Hall in Tampa, and then this year to her performance in The Buddy Holly Story at a Community Theatre. Charlie will go to practices (with his iPad in tow of course), he has been to see her perform in all her shows, and he loves to find her after the shows and tell her how great she was while getting in all the pictures.

When Charlie was just diagnosed we had Chelsea working with him a few times a week this one summer. I noticed he attended to her more than my husband or I. I noticed them connecting more during that time and he made some progress. He was 3 and still wasn’t talking.
I know it hasn’t been easy for Chelsea. We have had to leave restaurants because he was screaming so loud and wouldn’t stop. We have had to leave entertainment places with him holding his ears, screaming, crawling under tables. My husband had to pick him up kicking and screaming to get out of a book store while my daughter and I were checking out. The whole store heard him. The cashier not knowing we were related to him said, “Get that boy to shut up already”. All of those times we either were looked at with eyes that were saying, “What is his problem?” or we were told what we should be doing instead. Sometimes even people would talk directly to him (even though he didn’t understand language yet) scolding him or irritated with the disruption he was making. Chelsea has been a witness to all of this.

One day in the park, Tony and I were sitting with Chelsea on a bench all watching Charlie play in a big playground area. There was only one other kid there and he kept trying to talk with Charlie, “Hey what is your name?”, “Hello, what is your name?”. Charlie wouldn’t look or respond just kept playing and making noises. Finally, the kid tapped him on the shoulder and turned him around, “Hey what is your name?!, You are weird!” All 3 of us looked at each other with rage in our faces. Tony said, “It is a teaching time” and got up to talk with the other boy explaining how difficult it is for Charlie to respond back. Chelsea was red faced and said “That kid has no clue and I am really mad!”.
I know at times it has been embarrassing, inconvenient, and frustrating for her. Many times she has been late to rehearsals or activities because Charlie wouldn’t get in the car. She has seen me cry and she has seen my husband cry. She is grown way beyond her years. There were many years right after he was diagnosed that most of our time took up helping Charlie. School was difficult, lawyers had to be called to help, many IEP meetings, many nights researching the law, taking him to the various therapies, stress over the cost of the different things he needed, and all the time I took working with him 1×1. I could go on and on. The point is my time was limited and spending some 1×1 time with Chelsea was not as much as I would have liked. When I did have time I was exhausted.

Well, she is less than 3 months away from graduating from high school. Where did the time go? How will Charlie handle her leaving? How will I? She has helped Charlie more than she will ever understand. She has a look on life far beyond a typical teenager. She sees how long and hard her brother has worked for a simple thing. They don’t have a typical sibling relationship. They don’t have conversations with each other, unless I am prompting him. They don’t tease each other really. But, they love each other. What will it be like when she is gone? It will be like a missing piece. Our family has always been a team and our team will be down a player most of the season.

I know the Lord has a great plan for this transition and I will just need to let her go and like Charlie has said, “She will be fine mommy!” Charlie always is teaching me more than I teach him. He loves his sister and will always be her biggest cheerleader!

Chelsea and Charlie 2012

Chelsea and Charlie in 2012

Psalm 6:8-9 For the Lord has heard the voice of my weeping. The Lord has heard my supplication, The Lord receives my prayer.

-Patty Myers
Author of Autism Is A Blessing

https://www.facebook.com/#!/autismblessing?fref=ts

Don’t forget to vote for Not Alone in the About.com Readers Choice Awards. You can vote every day until the contest ends March 19th! Finalist

Filed Under: ADHD, Asperger, Autism, Behaviors, Cerebral Palsey, Down Syndrome, Grief, Hidden Disabilities, Learning Disability, Living In The Moment, Living Life Daily, Love, Medically Fragile, Mental Illness, Mood Disorders, Patience, Patty Myers, Peace, Scripture, Thanksgiving, Transitions, Uncategorized Tagged With:

One Day at a Time

February 11, 2013 11 Comments

one_day_at_a_time_ocean
2 Corinthians 4:18
While we look not at the things which are seen, but the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

One Day at a Time. Say it again. One Day at a Time. Say it slower. One- Day- at- a -Time. I think we all need to be reminded of this. As parents of children with unique needs our lives are filled with so much, our hearts are hurting at times, we are weary, and we are always looking forward to what will be. I am personally guilty of looking too far ahead and not focusing more on the here and now. It is so easy to do.

I am really bad at the “what if’s and the “what will’s”. I am going to be honest here. I sometimes have thoughts of “what if he doesn’t graduate with a regular diploma”, “what if he doesn’t make friends”, “what if something happens to Tony or I, what will happen to Charlie?”. Those are just a few. I have learned and am continuing to learn to just take One Day at a Time. Sometimes it may be one minute depending on your day.
This last week has been a tough week for me. I am very busy at work. My daughter is going to graduate high school soon. Her brother Charlie was having a tough week. Their relationship is awkward at times. My house is a mess. I am trying to get my taxes done. The laundry is piling up. My husband needs my attention. My son with autism needs braces. My allergies are at an all-time high. You know, the normal life… I have letters stenciled on my bedroom wall that say: One Day at a Time! How come this is so hard to do?

I read a devotional every day by Sarah Young called Jesus Calling. About a week ago this is what my devotional was reminding me to do: take One Day at a Time.
I AM WITH YOU AND FOR YOU. You face nothing alone – nothing! When you feel anxious, know that you are focusing on the visible world and leaving Me out of the picture. The remedy is simple: Fix your eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen. Verbalize your trust in Me, The Living One who sees you always. I will get you safely through this day and all your days. But you can find Me only in the present. Each day is a precious gift from My Father. How ridiculous to grasp for future gifts when today’s is set before you! Receive today’s gift gratefully, unwrapping it tenderly and delving into its depths. As you savor this gift, you find Me.

I just want to encourage you today to fix your eyes on what is unseen and trust in Him to supply all your need. Breathe in, Breathe out. You may have to squeeze a ball or something too , but take One Day at a Time. He already has it all figured out. God loves you so much and He understands all your anxieties and fears. He just wants you to come to Him and rely on Him to meet your needs and trust in Him. I really needed to be reminded of that today.
God Bless You!
Patty Myers
https://www.autismblessing.com
https://www.facebook.com/#!/autismblessing

Filed Under: ADHD, Asperger, Autism, Behaviors, Cerebral Palsey, Down Syndrome, Grief, Hidden Disabilities, Joy, Learning Disability, Living Life Daily, Love, Medically Fragile, Mental Illness, Mood Disorders, Patience, Patty Myers, Peace, Pin It, Posts By Writers, Scripture, Terminal Diagnosis, Thanksgiving, Uncategorized Tagged With: , ,

Gratefulness Is Refreshing

January 14, 2013 7 Comments

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Psalm 28:7 ESV

The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.

As the year was coming to an end for yet another time, I reflected on the things that brought me joy; those things that I am grateful for.  For some people it is just a list, but for me it is an accomplishment and reminder of God carrying me through some really tough times.

My son Charlie who was diagnosed with autism in 2004, he is the focus of my gratefulness.

Charlie’s Progress:

1)      Taking showers- Years ago taking a bath used to take a total of almost 2 hours from start to finish.  He would cover his ears and scream when the tub was being filled up.  He would scratch, hit me or himself to try to get out of the bathroom.  It would take about 45 minutes to get him in and then once he was in he loved it.  Then to get him out was another 45 minutes.  NOW he takes showers by himself.  He hears the water constantly running and it is ok.

2)      Hearing fireworks- When we first moved after his diagnosis to Orlando we didn’t realize how close our house was to Disney until the first night when we heard these loud booms and found out we can see and hear the Disney fireworks every night from our front porch.  We loved it, but Charlie not so much.  Every night he would run in his room and scream, slamming his door.  We thought what have we done?  July 4 for us as a family was dreaded because we knew it would be constant screaming.  He now doesn’t cover his ears, scream, run to his room, we even went closer to the fireworks show this year (with his earplugs of course) and he was able to watch them without screaming.

3)      Bathroom – This is one of his biggest achievements (and mine too).  This was the toughest for him.  His receptive language was lacking so he didn’t even understand going (being 5) and what it even meant. The reinforcers we were using weren’t strong enough for him to comply.  We did intervals the first 2 weeks with constant tantrums.  I thought, crying one day, will this ever work?  It took nearly 2 years for him to be completely trained.  This was almost 5 years ago and when he walks in a bathroom now I still sigh with a big smile and am so grateful for this.

4)      Words- Charlie didn’t start using his words till almost 4 years old.  How many of us can remember the first word your child said or the place where they said it?  I remember exactly where, when, and what was said.  It was, “YES”.  This is one of the biggest thing that I am grateful for…words.  They are powerful.  We still work on this being fluent but he is doing such an awesome job.  Words can even be via sign language or using an augmented device for others.  Being able to communicate is such a gift.

I am grateful for so many people that God has brought in our lives to help Charlie and our family.  We would have probably never crossed their paths if it wasn’t for Charlie’s needs.

1)   Our Church- We attend First Baptist Church of Windermere and right when we started attending they had started a Special Needs Ministry.  Our Pastor, Dr. Chuck Carter’s son also has autism.  It was and has been such a blessing.  It was a safe place for us to leave him and also have him learn about Christ.  It was the first time since his diagnosis that we as a family were able to worship all together and not be concerned about Charlie.  I will always be grateful to that.  Not all churches have places like this.  It has been a blessing.  Thank you Denise and Gina, among many others.

2)   His Teachers-Ms. Kim and Ms. LeVee (an ESE teacher and a regular education teacher) are among those that made such a difference in his life.  Both of these teachers looked at Charlie with lots of hope and were so positive.  I know it wasn’t easy at times, but they always had a smile and were encouraging.  I am grateful for their dedication and love.

3)   His Therapists- He has had so many of these in his short 11 years.  I feel these people have been key in his progress (ST, OT, Behavior Analysts).  They have given me such hope and actual skills to work on with Charlie.  They have taught me so much.

On those really tough days it is easy to get down, but I have always made the choice to look at where he has come and how much progress he has made.  So as 2012 has come to an end I am so grateful again for the many things that Charlie has accomplished and can’t wait to see what 2013 will bring for him and what other new things God will help him achieve.  Charlie’s sweet spirit of his love for Christ has grown so much this year and that I am grateful for the most.  I encourage you as you look to this new year think of the things you are grateful for as well.  Gratefulness can be so refreshing!

Colossians 3:15-20 ESV

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

–Patty Myers

https://www.facebook.com/autismblessing

Filed Under: Asperger, Autism, Down Syndrome, Joy, Living Life Daily, Love, Patience, Patty Myers, Peace, Scripture, Thanksgiving Tagged With: , , ,
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