Blessings in Disguise

blessings

Credit: morethansayings.blogspot.com

A couple months back a friend of mine who has two special needs children posted a question on her Facebook page. She talked about how sometimes as special needs parents we tend to see the ways other people do not understand our children, and the ways that people don’t care. Instead of focusing on the bad she asked for stories of people (strangers) who may have been a “blessing in disguise” – someone who may have helped you in a time of need with your special needs child.

I loved this idea and thought back to a day awhile back when my two-year old autistic son was having a melt down at Chick-fil-a…

It had been a long day already and I thought that letting him run around the play place would help. We parked, walked in, and ordered. Everything was going great until we sat down and I set up the food.

That was when the meltdown started. Screaming kicking, crying. I hadn’t even had a bite of my food yet! Everyone was looking at us, so I took him out of the high chair and went into the ladies’ room to help calm him down for a few minutes. We talked, he finished crying and calmed down a bit, and we walked back out. I put him back in the high chair and sat down to eat.

Only two minutes later it stated again, only this time worse. Crying, screaming, kicking and more. The man sitting behind us was glaring at me. I decided it was time to leave, but I couldn’t even leave my son to pack up our food. By this time he had almost tipped over his high chair so I took him out. He laid on the floor continuing his meltdown.

Then out of nowhere this lady with a kind smile came behind me and packed all our food up. She made it so nothing would spill and handed it over to me. I thanked her profusely, amazed at her non-judging smile and walked out the door with my son. It was such a small thing, but it made my day and was something that I hope to never forget. She was my little blessing in disguise!

I know it’s hard at times to see the good in people – especially when we hear so many bad stories about others being mean or bullying special needs children. But I am so glad that God sends us those little blessings in disguise at just the right times that we need it!

- Kathryn Sneed

What are YOUR stories? Did you ever have someone be your “blessing in disguise”?

Strong Shoes for Strong Parents

“If God sends us on strong paths we are provided strong shoes.” – Corrie Ten Boom

Image courtesy of ningmilo / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of ningmilo / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I recently saw this quote on a Facebook photo and it stuck with me. I thought, What a perfect quote that describes the life of a special needs parent! If you know the life of Corrie Ten Boom the woman who said this, then you know she endured a very hard life. I admire her and I admire her faith in God throughout all circumstances.

As I thought about the quote above, I thought about the word “strong.” What does that really mean? I looked it up in the dictionary and found that these words were perfect to describe the word “strong” as used in the quote above: “If God sends us on strong (forceful, extreme, intense) paths we are provided strong (solid, well-established, firm) shoes.”

What a description for the paths we have been sent on as special needs parents! I don’t know about your journey, but mine has been one that is extremely forceful, extreme and intense. It has been strong. As special needs parents we are sent on a strong paths since the birth of our children. We work hard to get our children the best help we can, we become their best advocates, and we plan our lives around their needs and schedules.

But God did not lead us on this journey without help! The shoes He has given to special needs parents are special. They can’t just be any shoes they have to be the perfect fit, size, and color. They are not always the most comfortable, but are instead made to take us over the rough spots and through the muck and the mire and the yuckiness of life.

They are shoes that not many others could handle or wear, but they were given to us because He knows our strengths and our weaknesses. He knew what we were capable of and He knew these were the shoes we would need to get us through each day. They are solid, well-established, and firm. They are strong.

I am so thankful that He knows us better than anyone else. That He gives us to strength to get through the stress and trials of each and every day. And so thankful for the shoes that He knew I could handle.

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”- Matthew 11:28

Kathryn Sneed

Don’t forget to vote for Not Alone in the About.com Readers Choice Awards. You can vote every day until the contest ends March 19th! Finalist

A Special Kind of Love

Special Needs LoveI’ll never forget the first time my son tried to sign “I love you.” He is only two, but every night my husband and I crossed our arms over our chests like a hug to sign “I love you” to him. Then one night he did it back. Only a parent will ever know how sweet a moment like that can be.

I’ll never forget the first big hug or the first kiss he laid on my lips. The way that only he can show me love will be something I will hold with me always. He can’t tell me “I love you,” because he still doesn’t talk, but the many ways he has chosen to show me love warm my heart and let me know I am doing this parenting thing right.

I think about how easy it is for a child to give their love. They see the world through different eyes and give without expectation of anything in return. So unselfishly and so incredibly powerful. How wonderful and amazing is a love like that!

I think God gave us our children so that we can see this special kind of love through His eyes. He loves us with that same unselfish love that same powerful and unexpected warmth that is so overwhelming. Is it hard for you to see it?

I admit, I have struggled with God’s love through the hard times in my life. How could God allow these things to happen to me? I have thought. Over the past six months since my son’s diagnosis of Autism and SPD I have wondered, Why? How? Every time my son has another medical procedure my heart breaks for him and I think, God is this love?

But you know what? Every single time God shows me some way to prove his love for me. He doesn’t need to do that, but He does. He shows me each day through my beautiful son, through the kindness of my husband and even through the world we live in every day.

The Bible says, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” – John 3:16. What an amazing kind of love!

This Valentine’s day I hope you remember: God loves you. He did not give you a special needs child to punish you or to teach you a “lesson,” he did it to show you His special love. God loves you more than you can imagine and more than anyone else you know. Embrace it today.

  •  ”And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28
  • “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:35-39

Blessings,
Kathryn Sneed

Faithful Parenting

In 2012, my pastor picked this verse to be our church’s theme for the year: “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” Each month of the year, he preached on a different topic relating to that theme. In the month of May, the topic was perseverance and this is the post I wrote after I heard several sermons on the topic.

Parenting Special Needs Children

My little family of three.

This past Sunday, my pastor preached two sermons on the topic of perseverance. The sermons were entitled, “Keep on Keeping On” and Sunday’s night’s was: “Faithful to the Finish Line.” While the main theme of these sermons was to persevere in the Christian life, or to be faithful in church attendance or Bible reading, I realized I felt convicted in another area. The area of parenting.

If many of you have kept up with my blog posts, or even the little areas of my life through Facebook, then you know that my son has Autism and SPD. He is also a toddler. You put a special-needs child together with the terrible twos and you get… well some crazy moments and maybe some chaos too!

No parent’s job is easy, but honestly at times I feel so overwhelmed with all the therapy and doctor’s visits, and all my son’s needs that sometimes I just want to give up. Sometimes when my son is being a regular toddler and just throwing tantrums or hitting for the 4th time that day, I just want to throw in the towel and be done.

It’s sometimes so easy to want to say…

  • “Today I am going to just let him watch tv all day.”
  • “Today I am just going to let my son eat crackers all day because it’s too hard to sit at the table for an hour and try and get him to eat.”
  • “I don’t feel like taking him to therapy today.”
  • “I don’t feel like dealing with another meltdown or another time-out.”

I know as a parent I am not the only one with these feelings. Sometimes being a parent is just plain old hard. But as I learned this past Sunday, the key to parenting is being faithful. Let me explain.

In the morning service this past Sunday, pastor talked about Noah. Noah was a man who was faithful to God. But if you think about it (and as my pastor pointed out) he was one of 8 Christians on the entire earth. Can you imagine being one of eight left on the earth? I can’t. Think of how hard it would be to stay faithful to God. Not many other people were doing it, it would have been easy to give up.

Then God told Noah to build the ark, and as I know a lot of you know this story, things got bad for Noah. People made fun of him, no one believed him, he was ridiculed day and night. But as in the title of the sermon, Noah kept on keeping on. He continued to build the ark. And when that day finally came, and the rain started to fall, I know he was glad he was faithful to obey what God told him to do.

Parenting is a little bit like the ark. God gave you your children and in my case, my son for me to raise. He knew my son would have Autism, but that doesn’t mean he made a mistake. It will be hard, it will take years of work, and for awhile you may wonder how your parenting will turn out, but in the end it’s going to be worth it. Why? because you followed God and were faithful to the end.

You got through those, hard times, those temper tantrums, those days of time-outs, potty training, hitting, throwing, and whatever else comes your way. You kept on keeping on. And you are going to be rewarded just like Noah was. You are going to eventually see the fruits of your labor and hopefully one day our children are going to come back and say, “Thank you. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for being so faithful.”

So  my encouragement to you today and also to myself is this: Parenting is hard, but don’t give up! Persevere and be faithful. God is watching and He knows every hard day that you go through. Whether you have a special-needs child, a strong-willed child, a toddler, or a teenager, He knows. And all He asks is that you are faithful. He will do the rest.

“Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.” -Matthew 25:23

Blessings,
Kathryn Sneed

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